The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
