yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
