I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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