I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
