so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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