Got a toothbrush?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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