I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
