is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
