Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
