why didn't you poke me back
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
