I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
