So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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