Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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