Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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