i just google imaged poop.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
