my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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