i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
