I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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