Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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