take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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