Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
