im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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