perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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