oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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