Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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