Nicole vs. Life
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
