Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
