it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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