i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
