He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
