Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
