What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
