Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No subtext here. People are naked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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