just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
