You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
