just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize