Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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