that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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