My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
