I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
