Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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