so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
