Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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