doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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