So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
