ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
is wine microwaveable?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
