Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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