I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
