is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
