He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
