how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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