Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
