I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
