Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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