Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize