I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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