i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
