Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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