none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
