kristin has been a bad kristin
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
