He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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