well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
