I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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