he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
