areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
